Film Diary #14: I Haven't Watched a Movie in 9 Days
Well hey there. Believe it or not I’m currently out of the country far away from my normal life which so far has been pretty wonderful and, dare I say, healing.
I’m on a trip with my mom and one of my sisters in Paris (!) for two weeks. My sister and I have never been, but our mom has and it’s been a big bucket list thing for her to show us Paris for the first time.
It took me a while to believe that this trip was actually going to happen. I’m in Paris right now typing this and I still can’t believe it. A true vacation hasn’t happened for me in probably two years or so, let alone to somewhere I’ve never been before. When my mom bought the plane tickets back in February, I was excited (duh) and suddenly filled with all these ideas of how I could spend the next three months studiously preparing for this trip. The amount of research I was planning on doing was daring, brave even, and I also had the notion that I was going to be at least semi-fluent in French by the time my feet touched European soil.
Cut to me two weeks before my trip: no itinerary, no research done, and maybe about four days of Duolingo under my belt. Typical. Sarah. Behavior.
But alas, I did not let my absolute consistent lack of follow through get me down. I was going to Paris! I could figure it out all when I get there and no one can stop me! Of course by the time it hit the one-week mark before the departure date, however, I was starting to feel a little stressed and slightly manic.
The week before I left was indeed a bit of a whirlwind; bouncing back and forth between working and packing and still trying to maintain smidgens of a social life before vanishing for two weeks. I forgot to tell some close friends that this trip was even happening, I didn’t bother to check the weather before I left (stupidly didn’t bring enough pants), and I didn’t make sure to have a VPN downloaded before I left (something I’m currently reaping the repercussions of and it’s been difficult). And somehow, some way, we made it. We’re here. We’ve been here (since last Friday). And it’s lovely.
Now I hope this next part doesn’t sound like complaining, that is not my intention and I understand that coming from me and where I am right now your impulse might be to tell me to “shut up” and you would be right to do so. BUT as someone who has made it a point to watch a movie nearly every day for basically the past year, I am having a hard time with the fact that it’s been nine days since I’ve watched a movie.
So, what compelled me to write this? Clearly I haven’t watched a movie recently and this series is called “Film Diary” so what the heck is this? Well as I’ve mentioned in previous posts, I’m trying to get better about writing in general and also posting regularly on this substack. Something I’m still struggling with, yes. Something I can overcome? I don’t know! Maybe? Hopefully? Something we’ll figure out together, how exciting.
For the sake of transparency, I’ll tell you what my plan was months ago, when I believed that I was capable of getting at least nine side quests done before this trip. Back in April I made a list on Letterboxd (here it is!) of 29 Paris related movies I was going to watch in preparation for this glorious getaway. But I made this list in mid-April, just under two months until the day of departure which, in my mind at the time, seemed an eternity away. I had all the time in the world! There was no way I couldn’t watch a least most of them. And if not most of them, definitely 15, for sure. And if not 15, 10 absolutely, so doable, are you kidding me? And if not 10, five, no doubt whatsoever. No one should be allowed to even question my ability to do that, it’s the fucking bare minimum.
So, I watched four. Two of them were re-watches.
And look, maybe I’ll appreciate the rest of these movies even more once I actually experience Paris and then watch them, and that’s still something, right? Right?? Please agree with me, I’m not feeling good about failing this side quest, of all of them it was like the main one.
It’s barely worth doing my typical “Film Diary” breakdown of them, to be honest. So I’ll just list them.
Rewatches:
Moulin Rouge! (2001)
Inception (2010)
First Watches:
Le Samourai (1967)
Personal Shopper (2016)
Okay it doesn’t feel totally right not doing some sort of rundown of my thoughts on these real quick. So fine, here goes.
Moulin Rouge!- was obsessed with it in junior high/high school, got older and thought I had out grown it. Then I re-watched it on the big screen (life changing) with a group of friends a couple months ago and it was amazing and it reawakened my love for it and I’ve been listening to that version of “Your Song” probably too much ever since.
Inception- so easy to re-watch! Christopher Nolan knows how to make movies, it’s pretty crazy. Also I made it my main mission on this trip to find the bridge that Leo and Elliot Page go to in Leo’s dream when he’s showing them the ropes of the whole dream thing. And I found it! It is indeed real and extremely walkable.
And every time I re-watch it, I watch the final scene with Cillian and Pete Postlethwaite AT LEAST three times.
Le Samourai- it’s been a good couple months since I’ve seen it so my memory is a bit fuzzy but I remember enjoying it, especially the bit where he has that whole ring of keys. File this under movies where hit men are kind of bad at their jobs.
Personal Shopper- Funnily enough, this is the last movie I watched, two days before leaving for Paris. Normally I wouldn’t think it’s the type of movie I would love, there’s a lot that’s not explained and one could argue that ‘not a lot happens’ or whatever but I don’t know, it weirdly worked for me. It’s such an odd and simple story but it just has that little something that makes it quite memorable. I’m being light on the details on purpose, feel like it’s better going in not knowing too much. Also no surprise that Kristen Stewart is good in it and rocks all of her outfits, especially that sweater that she wears on the train when she’s going to London from Paris.
So yes it would have been nice if I watched more movies from that list but you know what, it’s all fine. Those movies will still be there when I’m ready. I think the main thing that I’m slightly annoyed/concerned about is that I’ve haven’t watched anything since Personal Shopper. And that wasn’t really on purpose, I was actually hoping to watch some of the movies from that list while I was here, but then I had issues with a VPN I was trying to download and it was a whole thing and I still haven’t figured that out yet and the options from all the streaming services I have over here are ass so instead I’ve just been listening to a lot of music and honestly that’s been kind of incredible.
Okay so I guess I did get to talk about movies in this post after all so that’s good. But I think the whole point of this piece when I originally started writing it was that it’s actually been kind of nice not watching movies for a bit. Which I know, a very crazy thing for me, Sarah, the ‘Depressed Film Buff’ to say. I guess it just goes to show that taking breaks from things, even if they’re good for you, is still desperately needed sometimes. Too much of a good thing or whatever. Plus I’m travelling somewhere completely new to me and I think a part of me knew that I needed to do whatever necessary to fully immerse myself in this experience. And it hasn’t been super easy, I’m not the most social person and having to initiate things completely on my own here (when I’m not with the family) is rather difficult. But I’m finally coming around to the idea that new experiences are good for you (begrudgingly).
Well I don’t really know what this ended up being but here we are. After all of this I probably shouldn’t promise anything about my next post but fuck it, I swear the next one will feature a lengthy paragraph (maybe more) about at least ONE movie. Maybe even two, if we’re lucky.